The Perfect Blend

Start Me Up

Hi! I'm going to do that bit like Jack Dee does on one of them 'Laugh Shop' shows: come out, do a little bit of easy warm up banter to get the crowd going, hand over to one of them young Russell comics for the main bit, then come back out at the end, say they were great and try and finish on a decent note.

So....... that Autumn Statement eh?

"Ar ay, you've gotta feel for the lad - he's got a shite name, a shite face and no idea what he's meant to be doing most of the time"

That's just something I overheard two workies saying on my way out of work today.

"Ye wha?! Me be arsed?! I should be arsed - ha! She's a cow so i'm not arsed y'know. Til she stops being a cow I wont stop being not arsed about her & her shitty little washer dryer"

That was a girl on the phone on the bus home. 

Anyone see this story form last week about that screffy no-mark Michael Chopra gambling....or something? Not at all interesting but it went to a court case and it revealed that his dad's name is Minty. Minty Chopra!

I found that hilarious, but it was subsequently pointed out to me that he is of Indian descent and that Minty in fact isn't that unusual in being used as a diminutive name in some cultures - that photo above is author Minty Tejpal apparently- not as I thought TV's Tony Robinson going to a WWE-themed fancy dress party as Nailz - so its not that funny, and could even be a bit racist.....

Follow that!

Interesting mix

SHAGGY, EDMONTON, NOVEMBER 2013 (by Niall)

Back in the summer of 2006, I found myself unemployed, as did one of my very best friends. Owing to economic circumstances married to a spectacular inability to decide what we were going to do with ourselves post-school (ongoing…), I used to trek (and by ‘trek’ I mean get the 60 a few stops) to Graeme Hall’s house nearly every day - and we’d lock ourselves away in Graeme’s small bedroom and talk and ponder and watch films and that was all very interesting, but there were three main things we did:

Play on ‘Soccer Life’, which is a terrible game which we somehow made into the greatest piece of theatre possible; affairs, houses, modelling careers and irregular substitute appearances for Deportivo were just some of the dizzying highs and terrifying lows we went through. Together.

We also fell into that despairingly clichéd trap of watching ‘Neighbours’ twice a day. The show has had many ups and downs in it’s inplausibly long run, but for me, 2006-07 was surely its peak, being at the same time both saucy and ludicrous. Paul Robinson was on top form as heel and a few racy storylines got the pulses racing. 

The Lads

Indeed, I remember being furious at having to go back to my previous work mid-summer to help a “Sports Week” in Calderstones, which meant I barely caught one episode a day, if that. Fury that nearly boiled into, erm, anger (is that worse?) when it was gloatingly revealed that I had missed several ultra-light lesbian sessions between Pepper and the other one.

The Lads

And we also slipped into the habit of listening to Orville “Shaggy” Burell’s seminal pop-reggae crossover album ‘Hot Shot’. Lots. Like, too much.Perhaps it was the attempt to find middle ground between mine and Graeme’s fairly similarish music tastes (especially at that time) or the need for something not-too-weighty to distract us from Australian soap n' soft-core and being virtual soccer superstars, but either way we all enjoyed it, and made a pact that, if we ever got a sniff of the chance, we’d HAVE to go and see the Great Man himself live. But he never really came close to touching British soil….

Comfortably topping this bill

Fortunately, circumstances provided me with the chance this weekend. One circumstance is me being here in Edmonton. The other is Shaggy’s presumably dire financial straits, that have sent him out to perform club gigs wherever will take him. “If only I’d saved some of ‘Feel The Rush’ fee UEFA paid me”, he’ll be thinking. So, braving the snowy conditions, we (me and ‘me bird’; didn’t go on me bill, did I?) arrived at The Union Hall Bar with a mixture of excitement and trepidation; if he nails it, it’ll be great, but if he’s shit, then I will be saddened and his memory will be forever sullied. UH is basically The Kazimier with Krazyhouse décor; a good lickle venue, from what I could tell. And perfectly sized for The Shagster and his posse; 65% of whom were dreadlocked; bare reggae lads not afraid of stereotyping themselves, which is nice to see.

Clearly happened

We had to wait for him though. Firstly, we had a white rap duo. Sounds bad? They were. Awful. Terrible. The Worst. Honestly, they were horrible to watch; I don’t think they were supposed to be a parody, but with lines like “I pull my fucking gun out cos I just don’t give a fuck”, that is what they seemed like. If they were, they didn’t let the audience in on the joke, so either way, comedy or not, the crowd were just left bemused. We needed someone to come and pick us up. A big, big name is all that would do for the restless, bevied up masses. A genuine star was needed…

"Rayvon has chosen to broaden his musical landscape with the addition of hip hop and roots reggae to his already proven smooth Dancehall/R & B sounds on the forthcoming (untitled) CD"

Did I mention that Rayvon was supporting? Well he was, and he was here to save us. I say that in jest, but he was actually okay, as a crowd warmer and in his own right. Look up “Story Of My Life” if you don’t believe me.

It Wasn't Murali

Then, at 12.44am, Shaggy himself took to the stage. For us Brits, that’s quite late isn’t it? But having been to a couple of late-night gigs over here, I might say that it’s better, in a way. By finishing at about 2.30am, you know where you stand. If this happened in Manchester, we’d all be sound, as we’d make plans to stay out/get a hotel or something. As it stands, gig-going has forever been fraught with the feeling that, “yeah, this is boss, but can you wrap it up soon lads? I’ve got to leg it down Oxford Road for the last train home in a minute. And I wanna get a Fanta and some of those Jaffa Cake Bars for the journey too, so if you’d just do the one-song encore that’d be sound. Cheers Marshall lad, nice one”. Certainly, for this type of ‘fun’ gig, it works better for the atmosphere too. With people bevvied and gagging for a song that they knew, Shaggy couldn’t fail.

Eve kicking it in Kenya with Shaggy

He did all the hits and some songs that (only) I knew from Hot Shot and some vaguely familiar latter-day singles; who could forget the feminist anthem ‘Strength Of A Woman’? Or not like the towering, life affirming ‘Hope’? Obviously, the biggest pops were reserved for ‘Boombastic’, ‘Carolina’ and the mega, mega hits. He was joined for ‘Angel’ by, shockingly, Rayvon, and the Rayvonster stayed on and paid his dues for ‘It Wasn’t Me’ too. As if seeing this slab of musical genius live wasn’t enough, we were also treated to it being made into a sort of mini-play; extra conversations between verses, maximum audience involvement, and some fine, fine interplay that led us into the “gonna tell her that I’m sorry” part. He even said Edmonton (“wooohhh”) is the best party town he’s ever been too, and that Edmonton (“fuck yeah!!”) has the sexiest ladies he’s ever seen. Which was either true, and a remarkable achievement for this humble Canadian outpost, or he was just saying that to get the crowd excited. Either way though; what a showman.

Originally Posted by Neighbours_Spoilers_Babe

"Oooh i wonder who the affair will be!?"

And that’s about it. This review has been quite sarky, but he was honestly good at what he was doing, it’d be disastrous if he took himself seriously, so to seem him pretty much nail the novelty fun-time shtick we all hoped for was great. If he ever comes near you, go see him. Cheers. I’m off to research that Neighbours ‘06 era again. Elle was fit, wasn’t she? That twin storyline killed it a bit. Remember Mishka? Garbage, her….

EDITORS & BRITISH SEA POWER ~ LIVERPOOL ~ November 2013

I actually don't remember Mishksa to be honest. Around that period I was living in France and very earnestly admiring, among other things, the gloom-indie musical stylings of Birmingham's Editors. Perhaps the amazing thing is that I was not at all the only person doing that. When you look at the charts now, and the way music is consumed in general, the idea of sitting round having debates over which of the two separate CDs of alternating B-sides by this very serious little band seems ridiculously anachronistic. Mind you, at the same time I was also involved in a cross-Channel epistolary debate with my current co-author about whether Kate Jackson (exactly) had nice elbows or not.

More like Edith Woe-man & the erm...Wanted

I've (inevitably) not follwed their later career with anything like that enthusiasm (not helped by the inteelectaully bereft idea that no band where the singer went out with Edith Bowman could possibly be cool) so wasnt quite sure what this gig would have in store, excpet looking forward to a nice night out with the lovely Ctaherine (who bought the tickets for my birthday).

"Of legal drinking age, on minimum wage?

Well, welcome in"

The first pleasant surprise was the support act, British Sea Power, who I would happily go to see in their own right. I think the worked much better as a support band than when I saw them in the same role for Manics in 2010. They rattled through a really buoyant set ('Waving Flags' was probably the stand out) and the could-be gimmicky addition of two huge dancing bears worked really well. I definitely wouldn't have said that in 2006/07, but the contrast a bit fun provided before the main act was very well judged.

As Editors were a complete revelation - they found an atmosphere that suited them perfectly, with a strut and, dare I say it, even sexiness that I'd never associated with them before. At times they almost fell into a good end of Emo category, they were so intense, loud and unashamedly, well, emotional. From the first song, Sugar, which i'd never haerd before, I thought 'oh, this is going to be excellent', after that they went into 'Someone Says' (a minimalist remix of which was on one of the "Ales Tapes") and throughout mixed the old classics with really impressive newer stuff.

In fact, literally the only two tracks I wasn't that into were ones that Cat said she enjoyed, so they covered all bases. If I was doubly deluded enough to think anyone would i) read this far ii) listen to my music recommendations, i would say check out: 'A Ton Of Love' for it being the most blatant Echo & The Bunnymen lift I've ever heard but still being great, 'Eat Raw Meat = Blood Drool', for having the worst title for such a brilliant song, 'All Sparks' because its the one off the first album that sounded especially good revamped, and 'Papillon' because its an absolute banger and was a fantastic end to the best set I've seen live by a band for years.

That'll Be A Good Bit For At The End

The Lads

So, I was in CeX this evening - I was looking for a cheap copy of About Schmidt or Election, they didnt have either - and there were a gormless looking couple of troglodytes browsing not far away. 

The guy picked up the DVD for Inviticus and suggested to her:

"Oh, I heard he died didn't he? So this might be good"  (logic!)

 And she replied:

"Who, Matt Damon?!"

Fucks Sake.